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How To Help Your Friend Get Over A Bad Race

Etiquette expert Lizzie Post, great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post, knows a thing or two about the rules of the road—and the descendant of the famous decorum diva is a runner too!

My friend just had a really bad race. I don’t know whether to call her, write a supportive note or even ask her to run anytime soon. How should I handle this?

We often try to brainstorm possible solutions when a loved one is feeling down, because it’s hard to see our friend hurting. However, it’s very easy for this thoughtfulness to turn into negative assumptions. If you worry too much about which way is the best way to reach out, you’ll miss the whole point: Simply reach out. You can always ask her how her day is going or invite her to go for a run, walk or hike. She’ll let you know if she wants to talk about the race or go for a run, or neither. She won’t break or crumble because a friend tried to connect. Ask her how she is; you’ll know from her response how to be supportive.

Have a question for Lizzie? Email or tweet @womensrunning with the hashtag #ProperForm.

Lizzie Post

Lizzie Post

Lizzie Post, is the great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post and co-author of Emily Post’s Etiquette 18th edition as well as Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette 6th edition and The Etiquette Advantage in Business 3rd edition. Lizzie does speaking engagements across the country sharing advice about entertaining, weddings, dating, dining etiquette, tech-etiquette, finance and lifestyle. She has worked as a spokesperson for companies including Bank of America, American Express, AirBnB, and Genentech. She is a columnist with Women’s Running magazine, Good Housekeeping magazine, and She is the co-host of the Awesome Etiquette podcast on American Public Media’s podcast network Infinite Guest. She is a regular guest on American Public Media’s The Dinner Party. Lizzie offers a fresh perspective with an engaging and modern voice. She delights in tackling etiquette’s taboo topics with the media, making her a popular source. Her interviews include NBC’s The Today Show, Katie, Fox & Friends, Live with Kelly and Michael, The Gayle King Show, The Wendy Williams Show, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Chicago Tribune, Harper’s Bazaar, Travel & Leisure, Glamour, Redbook, The Huffington Post and more.