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9 Lies All Runners Are Guilty Of Telling

To all of our friends, coworkers, significant others and family members, I want to apologize on behalf of the entire running world. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, runners are a huge group of endorphin-drunk liars. Now the lies are never intentional or intended to hurt you, we’re just running that fine line between a constant state of runner’s high and exhaustion! Here are 9 lies all runners tell.

1. Where we are.

“I’m 5 minutes away,” we scream into a phone, already 10 minutes late to brunch. The truth of the matter is, we’re not 5 minutes away. We’re at least 2 miles away and we’re moving slow because we’re having a really bad run. Whenever a runner tells you that they’re 5 minutes away, a good rule of thumb is to assume they are at least a mile (or two) out.

2. How long we will be gone.

2-quick-10-miles

“I have a 13 mile long run tomorrow so I’ll be back in two hours.” Oh really? In what world is that true? You’re going to throw down a personal best during a training run just so you can get an extra 30 minutes of sleep and still make it to that family birthday party on time? Look, we all know that you want to finish your long run as soon as possible but don’t make promises you have no intention of keeping.

3. Pace and intended effort level.

3 easy run

Runners are always lying about their pace. “Let’s do a 3 mile easy run,” we say to you with a sheepish smile. Then we start running and within 2 minutes, you feel like you’re going to pass out. Pushing 7:30 minute miles is your easy pace? Here’s a disclaimer, “fast”, “easy”, and “short” have at million different definitions to runners. Can we all agree that “easy” means snail’s pace?

4. How far we are going to run.

4 more miles

Whether it’s a 6 mile run that becomes a 2 mile “F*ck this I’m going home” run or a half marathon that becomes a marathon, we rarely run the distance that we say we’re going to run. If I had a dollar for every time a 3 mile recovery run turned into a 6 mile run because I ran into a friend, I’d be able to register for every half marathon in America (OK that’s a lie).

5. When we say, “It doesn’t hurt that bad.”

5 injuries

Raise your hand if you’ve uttered the phrase, “It’s a pain but it’s a ‘dull’ pain.” Delusional is a word that comes to mind when dealing with a running related injury. Don’t run through pain. Missing a week of running while you figure out if it’s an ache or an injury won’t ruin your training (why is that so hard for us to wrap our brains around?).

6. Taking Time Off.

6 time off

This is my favorite, “I’m definitely going to take the time to recover after that (insert race here).” I’m willing to bet $100 that you won’t make it 5 days without going for a run. If a runner tells you they are going to “enjoy” their vacation or “take it easy” while they recover, it’s safe to say that it’s a lie.

7. When we tell you that we will be quiet in the morning.

7 morning

The struggles of living with a runner are real, especially when we have a pre­dawn wake up call. Even when we try to lay out our clothes and attempt to get ready like ninjas, we still sound like a stampede.

8. “I’m never doing that again.”

8 never doing that again

My personal favorite phrase that I scream after every bad run or race, “I’m never doing that again!” and 24 hours later, I’m looking for my next half marathon to register for.

9. When They Tell You How Much Fun They Have.

9 fun were having

I think once you become an endorphin drunk runner, you forget the difference between pain and fun. That or you just lose your damn mind and find joy in discomfort (which actually may be the case, now that I think about it…). Strike that, we aren’t lying when we tell you we’re having fun suffering through a tough run. Every painful step is worth it once that rewarding runner’s high sets in.

What are your favorite lies runners tell? Until next time, #RunSelfieRepeat.

Read More:
12 Stages Of Tricking Your Friends Into Running A Half Marathon
11 Reasons Why You Should Start Running

Run Selfie Repeat

Run Selfie Repeat

My name is Kelly Roberts, and I'm the former president of the "I Hate Running Club." No—but really. While struggling to grieve the loss of my brother and maintain a healthy body weight (after losing more than 75 pounds), I thought, "What better way to run from my problems than to actually run from my problems?" Since those painful first runs, I've conquered everything from marathons to 5Ks and haven't looked back. I created my blog, RunSelfieRepeat.com, to inspire others to get active while making them laugh hysterically—because laughing, in my opinion, is the solution to everything. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram (mostly eating cheese burgers, taking selfies with handsome men and terrorizing my sister) @KellyKKRoberts or on my YouTube channel!