*Courtesy of RunHaven
Runners are lovely people. Problem is, they can also be high maintenance. If you are hosting a runner in your home, here are eight things you should know beforehand.
- Stock the refrigerator. Running burns about 100 calories per mile, so runners feel obligated to replace all of that fuel (i.e., stuff their faces). Carbs tend to be a favorite.
- Plan for extra time. Runners really like to talk about how much they run, how far they run and what races they are training for. They also like to tell war stories about past injuries and setbacks. (If your guest is injured, avoid saying any of the things on this list.) Chances are you will be a sounding board more than a few times during your runner’s visit. Plan accordingly.
- Learn details and directions. Your guest-runner is going to run a lot while staying with you. He or she is not only going to ask you where to run, but exactly how far it is from point A to point B. Your guest will question you about things such as hills, flat stretches, water fountains, bathrooms and where shade can be found. It would be hospitable to do some research before the runner arrives. Or you could just make stuff up.
- Stay strong. If a runner is staying with you for long enough, chances are that he or she will try to convert you. Your guest will start with such innocuous statements as, “Running is such a great workout and stress reliever — you should try it sometime,” to, “I just don’t understand why you don’t run. What is your problem? Get with the program, you lazy a-hole!” During these conversations, it is best to not argue with the strongheaded runner, but instead just nod, agree that running is the coolest and move on.
- Put protective shields on furniture. It’s not uncommon for a runner to return from a 10-mile run and plop down on a couch or a chair. This tends to transfer a good deal of their sweat and stench from their bodies and clothing to your furniture. If you don’t want your stuff to smell like ass, protect it.
- Your water bill will go up. If you have a runner stay with you, expect it to be pricey. Runners take multiple showers per day and do a crapload of laundry. Ultimately this is a good thing because it cuts down on the horrendous B.O., but it can be expensive.
- Look before you step. Many runners travel with toys such as foam rollers, rolling sticks and tennis balls. Runners also like to lie down and stretch in the oddest of places. Be prepared to find your guest splayed out on the floor working his or her IT band on the foam roller or stretching those hamstrings.
- Watch your wording. Don’t call your runner a “jogger.” Just don’t.
Are there any other things you need to know before having a runner stay with you?
My Body, My Run, My Safety — Stop Telling Me to Shut Up About It
6 Hydration Etiquette Guidelines for Races
How to Resume Training After Time Off
A Guide to Runner’s Lingo
What is a Safe Distance for Children to Run?